Singapore Again (Part 6)
The overnight rain/storm had subsided by the time I woke up, which today, was about 12pm. I know I know, lazy huh? 
The Gerards’ were about to head out to look at another apartment, in the block next to the last one. We arranged to go out somewhere for Duck Rice when they got back, then take a trip to VivoCity. Sounded like a plan.
I busied myself with getting up, showered and dressed, checked email and surfed the net a bit.
They arrived back with smiles, and announced they’d sealed the deal on their new apartment. And this one even had Air Conditioning! The only drawback was the… squat toilet. 
Well i’m not planning to visit again any time soon (ie, I haven’t booked yet!) so it won’t worry me. And if I visit while they’re in that place, I might just make sure i’m out at a shopping centre when I need to go. Heheheheh..
We took a taxi to the Duck Rice place, which was just a coffee shop amongst a small cluster of shops in some residential area. An expensive residential area, full of mansions. (But supposedly cheap mansions, in the grand scheme of things. Cheap compared to what, I wondered..)
Plastic chairs and plastic tables. I almost felt like I was eating in Malaysia again, or in the kids playground at Ikea, except these chairs probably weren’t that expensive. I let G2 order seeing as I didn’t even know what they served, let alone what was good to order.
G2 ordered us each a rice and a Lime Juice drink (loaded with plenty of sugar), and a main of the duck pieces drizzled with some sauce. I watched the guy carving up the duck, and was amazed at the speed he was chopping considering how close his hand was. If it was me, i’d be Captain Hook by now. The Duck tasted quite nice, but most duck does unless they really fuck it up. I think the sauce had a lot of Kekap Manis (thick sweet soy sauce) mixed with some other stuff, which went well with the duck.
G2 also ordered a Sambal Belacan, but it wasn’t great – it hadn’t been washed properly, and was a bit gritty.
Despite the budget plastic seats, tables, utensils and bowls, there was nothing budget about the cost. I think it cost around $40 for the 3 of us, which considering average food court meals are around $5 – $6 each, this was quite a step up.
Some of the diners wouldn’t have cared though, they had their BMW 7 series’ and Audis’ parked outside. You have to be seriously loaded to have a 7 series BMW in Singapore AND a family.
Anyway, after we finished up we walked down the road to the bus stop.
5 minutes seemed like half an hour, as it was really humid standing there for some reason. Must have been some water nearby or something..
The bus arrived, and we clambered aboard. *Tap* went my tap card. Didn’t even take it out of my wallet. No stupid Met Cards here.
I saw some interesting things on our way to VivoCity. There was this building site, and all these blocks stacked up like a pyramid. Evidently this was to check the soil for stability, or something. Interesting the different building methods they use, and how everything seems to get built way quicker.
We arrived at Vivo, and walked inside. Near the entrance, one of those massage brands was showcasing their entire range. People were trying out various pieces of the equipment.
This Indian family had jumped on what I could see was a communal vibrator. Basically you stand on it, and it vibrates the platform beneath your feet (and in turn, vibrates the fat off you?). The photo would have been more amusing if it’d caught the motion blur, but oh well.
G2 asked me if i’d ever heard of Daiso. I hadn’t, so he told me it was a Japanese store, where EVERYTHING in the whole store was $2. Slightly different to our $2 stores, where you can sometimes find multiples of things for $2. E.g. 3 bags of chips for $2. But the best part was that unlike our $2 stores, Daiso isn’t filled with crap. Well ok, in any $2 store there’s bound to be some crap, but its was still better quality. And I think I found the place where Singaporean Aunties go when they leave home. It was almost as packed as a nightclub, except with Aunties. All getting their $2 bargains.
I bought a few things – a pill container for dad, some small containers for me, some junky thing for my aunt, and some brown poo shaped gel blobs. They’re funny, and they stick to walls. But yeah, useless, really.
You could also go nuts with all the stickers and stationery they had, but remember… each item at $2 really adds up. The person in front of me at the register clocked up $132, and that was only a bag full of stuff.
Also while I was queued up, they have things near the register to tempt you into buying more. I saw a few types of hair gel. The first one was called Pretty Hard, and next to it was Really Hard. $4 was too much to waste just for amusement, so go look yourselves.
If they opened up a store in Malaysia where the same stuff was $2 Ringgit, that’d be pretty cool.
After we came out of Daiso, we wandered around some of the other shops, until we came to Giant. It’s a big grocery store, hence the name.
G1 & G2 did their normal grocery shopping, so I wandered around with them, occasionally gasping at prices. I did find the hair gel Louis like to use 80c cheaper than at Guardian though, so i’ll know for next time.
We went to get some meat from the deli, and while we were standing there, I noticed a group of people hovering around the “Thailand Longan” box, EATING THEM. They’re only 42c per 100g but people are STEALING by eating. When the whole family crowds around and chows down, that’s not sampling, you cheapasses!
After G1 & G2 finished grocery shopping, they caught a taxi back home with all the stuff. I continued browsing around Vivo.
I just happened to walk past a Converse shop, and Fuck me! I found the exact same style/colour of shoe as what I bought at Lee Cooper, for $39.95. If Gage had’ve been with me he would have laughed at me, as he’s a fan of the ‘original’ Converse, and wouldn’t buy a clone/replica/copy. In my defense, I did ask him how much Cons were, and he said they’d be more expensive than my Lee Coopers.. so not my fault
I also found a New Urban Male store had opened up, and although I didn’t find any tshirts I liked in there, they actually finally had a sales boy working there that i’d consider cute. But that was still only 1 out of about 6… but it’s a start. Their sales might even go up.
I wandered around a while longer, then went to catch the bus back home. I must have just missed the last one, coz I had to sit there for aaaaages. Still, it’s interesting watching the people around me. (No not perving, nothing to perve at. Just watching people.)
Finally the bus arrived, and I was on my way home. I had a short nap before dinner, so I wouldn’t be falling asleep later at St James. After dinner I tried to nap again, but ended up just laying there, unable to sleep. At about 10.30 I showered and got changed, then headed out to the bus stop. I caught the bus back to VivoCity, then walked around to where St James was. By now it was about 11.30, but there weren’t that many people yet.
The queue was short, so I was soon inside. I grabbed myself my free drink, which I selected as a pot of Tiger. (They’re not nice enough to give away any of the good stuff, you can only choose a wine, beer, or soft drink). I sat at one of the tables for awhile, drinking my beer. About midnight people finally started filling the place up.
I ordered myself a Bacardi Breezer, which took a good 10 minutes to order, pay for, then get back the change. I went and sat near the dancefloor, where only a few people were dancing so far.
I drank slowly, and watched as a few more people started dancing. By the time I finished, it was full enough yet still plenty of room, so I got up and started dancing as well.
The music was decent, and i’d heard most of the songs. As time went on, the dancefloor started getting more packed. A group of three tanned chinese guys were dancing near me. The closest one was about 5′5″, and pleasant on the eye (Reasonably cute, ok?).
Dancing away, just smiling in general. Occasionally caught his eye, just smiled a bit more. All friendly like. As the dancefloor became more packed, we ended up closer still, and then somehow, we were basically dancing together.
Then a good song came on, but the DJ started putting these 5 second pauses in it, where everyone would basically stop dancing until the music came back. After the 3rd time he did that, I leaned over to the guy dancing with me and asked, “Does the DJ do a lot of this to the songs?” He leaned close to my ear, and said “No English“.. I smiled, and nodded. I also thought, ‘Oh-kay then…’
Digressing for a moment, from the TalkingCock Coxford Dictionary, comes this term:
CHEENA PIANG / CHEENA POK
A derogatory term used by Singaporeans who are more well-versed and comfortable in English to describe (insult) those who are more well versed in Chinese and who cannot speak English [properly].
1. “Wah lau! He’s super cheenapiang, man. Hear the way he speaks English!”
2. “Ah Lians and Ah Bengs are all cheenapoks!”
So i’ll continue referring to him now, as Cheena.
I was just out to have a good night. Making a couple of friends to dance with would just make it more fun and enjoyable.
I continued dancing, and he continued dancing close to me. I assumed from what he’d said, that he couldn’t speak English. I also assumed he’d know I couldn’t speak Chinese, considering I would have started conversing in Mandarin/Cantonese if I could, before.
Dancing. His hand brushed against my crotch. Accidental, maybe, I thought. Continued dancing. Smiled.
Now, i’ll define a couple of terms:
Grope: This is fairly deliberate. A flat hand brushes against you, feeling any bumps and curves along the way.
Grab: This is more deliberate than a Grope. This is where someone actually (momentarily) grabs [a part of] you with their hand.
Dancing some more, Cheena GRABBED me. Where? Well use your imagination, it wasn’t my arm.
I knew he knew the word NO, as he’d said to me earlier, ‘NO English’. I mouthed the words NO, and shook my head, as well as holding my hands up like I was doing the Bus Stop.
Danced a bit more, and he made for another GRAB. Again, I said NO.
This went on a few more times, until he took my arm and led me off the dancefloor. We headed toward the entrance where it was a bit quieter, and I thought he was going to attempt to talk to me.
We stopped, and he faced me. I thought he was going to talk, but instead he GRABBED me again. I said NO.
Then he took my hand, and squeezed it against his groin. (Forced grab?) He was obviously very happy to see me, so to speak. Once again I shook my head and said No.
Then he turned around, and rubbed his butt against my groin. If we were having a game of charades, this guy would be very good at making himself understood. But alas, this was not charades.
I shook my head and said NO, again. He pointed to the door, I assume meaning to go home with him. NO, again. I pointed toward the dancefloor, and danced a bit. I pointed to his groin, and shook my head.
I was at a loss on how else to tell someone that I was just dancing, and wasn’t out to pick up.
But he finally seemed to get the message, because we headed back to the dancefloor. We danced some more. But then he tried it again.. GRAB.
I got out my phone and sms’d Gage, “Can you SMS me back in chinese characters saying ‘I have a boyfriend, i’m just dancing’ please?”, then waited. In the meantime, he tried another grab, which met the same result. Then suddenly, he wandered off. He’d disappeared to find his friends a few times before, but this time, he didn’t come back. And just then, I got a reply from Gage, with the message I needed. Just incase he did come back.
So there I was, dancing by myself again. Which was cool. Then along came some thin, shirtless, camp Indian guy. Now if you’ve read this blog for any amount of time, you’ll know I have a low tolerance for Indians. Very low. But proving how nice and friendly I was trying to be, I didn’t immediately tell him to take a hike.
He asked if he could dance with me, so I said yes. Dancing was.. fine. So we danced. He started mouthing the words to the song, but in doing so made all these weird facial espressions. I assume he thought he was being funny, but it just wasn’t. I continued dancing, looking all around, everywhere but at him.
There were two asian guys dancing nearby, which I assumed was a couple, but one of the guys had looked me over a number of times. I’m not sure what he was thinking, but there are a few options;
a) Ugh, Ang Moh.
b) He’s kinda cute..
c) What the hell, dancing with an Indian?
d) I wonder if he needs help to get away from that Indian?
Now if he was thinking anything from b) to d), that would have been flattering. But I couldn’t quite catch his eye as to convey my “Help! Do anything to get me away from this guy!” so I endured it. Until the Indian tried to kiss me. I leaned back, avoiding his pass. I told him I was just dancing. These people mustn’t understand English, because he tried to do it again. I told him I was going to get a drink. He asked if I wanted him to join me, and I just waved him off, which meant NO.
I queued for my drink, another good 10 minutes. Whilst waiting for my change, someone came up behind me and grabbed me. Now at least this grab was around my waist, rather than any lower. He’d had enough excitement for one night, already.
I whirled around, with a look of ‘Whoever did that is going to die!’ on my face. It was the Indian. The look had the desired effect though, as I didn’t need to say a word – he shrank back into the crowd, and I didn’t see him again.
Oh well, I tried to be nice for most of the night, that’s probably some kind of record for me.
I went back to dancing after finishing my drink. Dancing dancing.
Then some late 30’s black-as-your-boot Indian grabbed my hand on the dancefloor, and started shouting, “Hey, I have champagne, you want some champagne!?” I said no. Then he asked again. I snapped my arm out of his grasp, and told him in no uncertain terms to fuck off.
So if anyone else had their eye on me from that point on, I think I sufficiently discouraged them from making a move, because I didn’t get approached again.
It was only about another half hour anyway, until the DJ started playing weird kind of music. I call it Eccy music, because only someone who’d popped a few E’s would be able to appreciate it.
It’s normally what DJ’s play to drive out the clientele, so they can wind down for the night. It was 2.45, so I took the hint and left.
The taxi rank was full of Toyota Crowns’ again, so I just grabbed the first one available. The driver was nice enough, and was surprised when I told him to keep the 30c change out of the $13 I gave him for the fare ($12.70). If he saw how much coinage i’d accumulated since I arrived, he would have understood. (If it wasn’t so much hastle to carry the coinage around, I probably could have paid my entire fare with it.)
I collapsed into bed, knowing i’d be sleeping in late tomorrow as well. The joy of holidays.. 
12.May.08 
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