Uncertainty
Have you ever woken up one day and wondered how you ended up where you are? No, i’m not talking about a night on the piss and waking up on a park bench, i’m talking about relationships.
You open your eyes and look over at the person beside you, and feel doubt. Doubt you’ve never felt before, or maybe just the doubt that has been simmering under the surface for too long, but you refused to acknowledge.
Then comes the hardest part – doing something about it. Waiting for the right moment to communicate those feelings and doubts, where you foolishly hope the words will hurt just a little bit less.
Then comes the guilt, the tears, the uncertainty. More doubting. Doubting the doubt you had in the first place. Doubting yourself. Doubting everything.
Then silence. Awkward silence. Second guessing movements, gestures, things you used to do subconsiously. More uncertainty. Limbo.
Chatter. Just to break the silence. Anything will do, but what?
Thoughts. So many thoughts. And for each thought, so many more questions. And for each question, so many more answers. How to find the right answer? I don’t know. Time? Maybe.
If there is such a thing as Fate where our destiny is already marked, ‘they’ could at least give us some fucking signs. Until then, i’ll just have to stumble my way along as best I can…
17.Jul.08 
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
You have been thinking alot about this and at some point, a choice had to be made. Be it the right choice or a bad one, a choice had to be made. Who’s to say the choice you made was a good one or bad one? Only time will tell.
Hugs
Hear! hear!
Sounds scary. I’d be shit scared like you said. Hope your doubts have gone away by now.