Optimistic Pessimist or Pessimistic Optimist?
Sometimes I have reflective moments where I pause and analyse myself, and think that i’m a pessimist. But then I look a bit deeper, and find I really seem to be an optimist.
When it comes to other people though, when is optimism crossing the border into naivity?
Thanks to someone tagging a friend of mine in a Facebook picture, I realised he was back from Overseas and in Sydney – though he hadn’t told anyone. Not me, nor his best friend from when he used to live here (they were almost inseparable). I thought this was strange, but figured he might just want to keep things low key.
I told him i’d be in Sydney as well, and that we should catch up – seeing as it’d probably be another year before he comes back again. He replied with the suggestion that we catch up on Sunday for a coffee. That sounded good.
I met a friend for dinner on Friday night, and although expensive, both the restaurant and the meal were fantastic. It’s kind of sad that nowadays we’re bowled over when we experience good service, but this went beyond that. It was FLAWLESS. If you’ve got a bundle of cash for dinner and you’re in Sydney. DO go to ‘Rambutan’ on Oxford St.
After dinner I met another couple of friends and we went clubbing at The Shift. After dancing awhile and watching one of the tragic drag shows, I went to get a drink. On my return, I passed a group of guys, and did a double-take – my other friend was here too!
So much for keeping it low-key if he’s at the shift.. haha… Then he saw me too and we hung out for most of the rest of the night, and it was all quite fun. Around 4.30 I was heading back to the hotel for some sleep, so he confirmed again we’d catch up for coffee on Sunday. He’d send me his mobile number on Facebook later the next day. We said our goodbyes and I headed off.
Now here’s where the optimism kicks in: I assumed he would send me a message with his phone number, and plans etc on where we’d meet on Sunday.
Now here’s where the naivity kicks in: I started making excuses in my head (eg, no net? busy?) why he hadn’t messaged me, right upto about lunchtime on Sunday.
Now here’s where the pessimism kicks in: Considering he didn’t tell his best friend he was coming to Sydney for a month, and he didn’t immediately give me his contact number on his first message nor when we met in the club, I can only assume he had no intention to do so at all in the first place. So why go through all the pretending bullshit then?
This is actually a saddening fact to accept, because I like to believe that when people say something, they mean it. I will believe they mean what they say, right up until their actions prove otherwise – kind of like the “I love you’s” my ex used to tell me right before I dumped him.. Actions speak far louder than words.
People change, and a lot of the time it’s not for the better. Maybe I should start off with the pessimism and be occasionally pleasantly surprised when they prove me wrong.
15.Jun.09 
Random
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Hey, be optimistic!
Kinda like the fella who named his restaurant Rambutan ( what kinda name is that! ) but it obviously works!
I understand fully what you are talking about. I myself have spent a lot of time thinking about the motivations for this kind of behaviour and the only thing I can come up with is that these people are basically social cowards. They can’t handle the thought of any semblance of confrontation and so they avoid it all costs. So when someone asks them to meet up, even if they don’t want to, they say ok because it is easy to say at the time and they can’t handle the awkwardness that would ensue if they said no to someone. So things proceed and the easiest thing for them to do then is to just not respond to a message or to ignore all other forms of communication because that is preferrable to an honest rejection which would make them feel at least awkward, and possibly more… In their minds they can rationalise it because, after all, the other person isn’t a friend and why should they care… Well that’s my five cents anyway.