5 wasn’t my lucky number. Let’s try 6.

Recently, another chapter in my life finally drew to a close – Louis finally moved out.

In a few posts he’s blogged about in the past few months, I seem to have been painted as the bad guy – simply because I was the one who broke up with him. Not so much in words, but the overall tone/context says as much.

I’ll also add a disclaimer right here – Of course i’m not perfect. But this isn’t about me.

I made a few thinly veiled references to our slow demise, but here it is. We broke up back in July, and even that was delayed – i’d pretty much made up my mind in January, but was hoping upon hope that something would happen and everything would fix itself – which of course didn’t happen. I’d tried talking to him a few times too, but unsurprisingly, it fell on deaf ears.

Even in February, when we were in Malaysia, Clayton noticed things weren’t right.

From about a week after Louis moved in with me, I started getting surprises. Unpleasant little surprises at how he’d just start expecting and assuming things, or eating, using and wearing things. As time went on, these liberties only increased. I KNOW when you’re in a relationship with someone that you share a lot of things, but this wasn’t simply a case of that. This was beyond anything i’ve experienced with any of my previous partners. You’re probably thinking i’m getting petty, and you might be right if it was just me thinking these things. But other people actually commented to me as well.

I’m not rich, and definitely no sugar daddy (not old enough for a start!). Nor did I have any intention of being in that kind of situation. When he moved in, we agreed on a figure of $300 a month, plus a share of the bills & groceries. A couple of weeks later when his whole family crashed at our my place for his graduation, he agreed to them stopping his living allowance. He’d get a job to support himself, and pay his bills.

That never happened. He made some loose change by buying and selling Playstation 3’s on eBay, but the amount of effort required vs the remuneration was just laughable. Not to mention every time a deal went bad, i’d have to issue a dispute on my credit card – those things take months to resolve. The point is, he never even made the effort to get a job and pay his way – though he’ll deny that, so i’ll rephrase. He never made a proper decent visible effort.

There were a few times where things he did left me seething, as well.

The first one I can recollect right now was how he needed to pay for two subjects he retook in the semester before his graduation. He couldn’t graduate unless they were paid for. The student loan he applied for was declined. And then there was some kind of expectation that i’d help him out ’short term’, which I begrudgingly did – with the understanding it would be paid back, pronto. I should have learnt my lesson there and then, because he didn’t follow that promise. The repayments were on dribble feed, and moneys accumulated went up more than down.

The second was when we were at a (campy gay) friend’s apartment one night, and the housemate of another friend was there as well. I was chatting to him. He’s straight, and I mentioned something about Louis being my partner. Louis heard from across the room, and felt the need to come over and interrupt, ‘clarifying’ that he’s not gay, he’s bi-sexual. I was dumbfounded, and I could see the guy suddenly felt very awkward. He didn’t know what to say. It’s not that he cared one way or the other, he just didn’t realise we were together. So what the fuck?

The third time was where we went to some house party in Southbank, and he introduced me as his ‘friend’. Not boyfriend. Fair enough if it was some straight party, but this was to the very gay host at a gay party. Ashamed? Keeping options open?

The fourth was where I turned up to his surprise birthday party recently (post break up, pre moving out), only I was the one surprised. He was wearing my new jacket, as well as one of my long sleeve tees. Did he ask to wear them? No, because I wasn’t around. That makes it yes by default, no?

He also commented once how cute a gay couple were because they were holding hands in public. Then he said not for me to expect us to ever do that though, because he’s ’straight acting’. Don’t mention it then, rather than rub my nose in it, hmm?

I waited until Louis finished his studies in June – just incase he went off the rails – so I wouldn’t get blamed for him failing his Masters. Inbetween when our relationship reached such a low point that I accepted it wasn’t working in Jan, and actually telling him in July, I stopped caring about many things. I think maybe it was a coping mechanism of sorts, or maybe my subconscious refused to waste any more thought power deliberating on something it’d already decided. After all, emotions are rather draining.

That and also during June, we met another friend. Unless Louis has deleted the posts, you can read all about how Kin evidently drove the final wedge between us. In reality, it was a last ditch effort on my part for us to get out more and socialise with other people with similar interests, as interacting with most of my existing friends didn’t interest Louis in the slightest.

Kin is very outgoing, smiley, talkative, and quick-minded. I thought this might bring Louis out of his shell a bit. (Strangely enough it has, post break-up.) As we met up with Kin quite often over the next month, Louis ended up being more of a spectator on the sidelines. The interaction was mainly between Kin and myself.

It was plain to see – Louis and I had nothing in common anymore. Besides watching a few shows on TV and deciding what to have for dinner, there was very little interaction. E.g., stone cold silence for half an hour whilst driving back home from Box Hill. ‘Comfortable’ silence, my ass.

Besides noticing that meeting up with Kin wasn’t bringing us together, I noticed i’d started developing feelings for him. What was not to like? He was everything that Louis was missing, and more. Most importantly, he wasn’t afraid to be himself. Maybe Lady Luck was handing me an ace card.

I told Kin I was breaking up with Louis, and asked if he’d be interested in getting to know me better – no timeline. Not perfect timing but fair question I thought – from one straightforward person to another.

We seemed to enjoy eachother’s company, and I also sensed there was interest beyond just being friends; but he declined, saying that as he’d met Louis and I as a couple, he’d always see us that way. It’s times like those where you wish you could read minds, to figure out what someone’s really thinking. Even to a best friend, what they think and what they say can be totally different.

I actually wonder that if I had broken up with Louis before I met Kin, if things would have worked out differently between us. But i’ll never know, because it didn’t happen that way. And now, even though Kin says we’re still friends, it’s obviously a bullshit line. I asked him out, he felt weird about it, and now he’s best friends with Louis. Never calls. Never messages. Never replies. Just call a spade a spade, eh? We were passing acquaintances.

It was weird… the day Louis moved everything out.. once all his stuff was gone, I actually felt sad. Up until that point, nothing. But then.. sad. For a minute.

Louis and I _might_ be friends again at some stage in the future, but there’s gonna have to be some lag time inbetween. Too much water under the bridge, and all that. And if we meet for dinner, we will be going dutch on the bill. Or maybe he can just pay the lot. For once.

—————-

Some of the things i’ve described will obviously be how I perceive and feel about things. He’ll see things totally differently. The objective truth is probably a bit of both, or somewhere inbetween.

Currently Playing: Placebo – Blind

13.Nov.08 Gloom, Home Comment (1) 

Shopping, Sale-a-vie (C’est la vie)

Indeed, that’s life, but it’s not a bad way to spend it.

Sales are good. Visiting countries where the exchange rate is strong (or is it weak? Whatever, as long as it’s in your favour!) and having sales there is even better.

But as i’m not on holiday in KL or SG at the moment, I did the next best thing. Louis would argue that eBay would be the next best thing, but I prefer to try things on before I buy them. There’s no worse disappointment than unwrapping a parcel and finding you hate what you’ve bought. “But it looked good in the picture…”

Armani Exchange (Upto) 70% Off Sale.

At lunchtime, I managed to find a funky pair of shorts that i’d seen – but not bought – in Singapore, and also some trackpants for gym. And I received a John Flynn and a Banjo Paterson (and a couple of Aboriginals) as change, in exchange for my Dame Nellie Melba.

True, I didn’t need a Bag-man to help carry all my purchases home, but I still had that tingly feeling all the same.

:)

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12.Jun.08 Fun, Home Comments (2) 

Busy Busy Busy…

I went to gym again last night, but ended up skipping some parts of my routine. Even doing that, I was still there for the best part of 2 hours.

I normally go on Mondays and Thursdays. Mondays are busy. I also tried Tuesdays, but they’re just as busy. Fridays suck, coz they close an hour earlier, so if you’re late arriving, you don’t get everything done before they kick you out. Thursdays are good though. Well, at least they used to be.

It’s the Victoria University Gym. You’d expect a lot of students there, yes? No. A few students. More than a few Indians. A few abnormally bulked up people who look like they live there. A few normal average people – (I prefer to include myself in this category :P ). And lucky last, a few fat people.

And now on Thursday, we have a whole group of about 20 Down Syndrome people.

Now I totally have nothing against anyone with Down Syndrome. Bastard of a thing to have wrong with you.

What I DO have a problem with, is the management (or rather mis-management) of the fucking Gym.

The Down Syndrome people come in, and pretty much get on everything and into everything. They have no comprehension of Gym Etiquette, so they just hog things even when they’re resting. Which is also a problem with most of the Indians. But assumedly their brains function ‘normally’, so they have no excuse, except maybe stupidity.

Then there’s this mid 40’s guy who’s always there, who could floor you with his disgusting body odour – from 5 paces. Someone needs to introduce him to a modern day invention we call ‘deodorant’, and we’ll all be better off [alive].

He also doesn’t have a clue how to use dumbells, coz he ends up getting momentum by swinging them like pendulums. Dickhead.

Then we have a couple of narcissists, who do a few exercises, and then spend double the time turning in front of the mirror admiring themselves. Sadly, there’s not much to admire – so they should just get on with it.

Yesterday when I arrived, the first thing I go to use after doing stretches is the treadmill. As the Down Syndrome group was on most of them, I sat and waited. Then this anorexic dyke finished up on the treadmill, and headed right out of the gym (Probably to weigh herself, to see if she’d reached negative mass yet). So I walked over and reset it, and started my warmup. Then she comes back and starts abusing me, saying she was still on it. Ahem, excuse me? So I ignored her for a minute, but she had this teapot stance and kept bitching at me. So I jumped off, and said “Well have it then, you obviously need it more than I do.” Hopefully that’ll give her a complex and she’ll keep ‘milling until she fades away.

Then I managed to get a few weights exercises in, and then after my first set on the Pec Deck, some Indian wanted to jump in while I was resting inbetween sets. That’s fine – except he did his set, and fucking sat there – and gave me a blank look when I told him to get off. Fuck me.

So i’ve found this new gym which charges just $4.40 per visit, and it’s open 24-7. Sounds like a plan, coz I won’t be renewing my fucking membership at VU.

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06.Jun.08 Bitching, Home Comments (0) 

Holiday Mode

Ever since Louis and I came back from our holiday in February, it’s been kinda hard to settle back into the daily grind. Maybe the holiday just wasn’t long enough, or maybe i’m over my current job. Or maybe both.

Added to that, during the holiday I lost a little over 2kg, which has somehow found its way back already in the last two months. Even though i’ve been exercising/gym. Not happy.

Maybe it was just waterweight I shed, from all the sweating just.. standing.. around.

So browsing on Tiger this morning, some insanely cheap fares popped up on a random search I did. MEL-SIN: $14.00, SIN-MEL $36.00. What? I contemplated for a moment, then clicked ‘Book‘.

May is sale time in Singapore (as opposed to the other 11 months of the year which are also sale time), though I don’t have that much to spend. Might be a few things cheap and decent enough to warrant parting some cash for. I won’t need the 30kg luggage, the little one will be enough. I only have a 20kg allowance anyway.

The main reason is nice (hot) weather, different food, and more exercise. And maybe catch up with a few friends. I mean, last time I walked everywhere. This time i’ll do that again, and more.

Travelling Tiger again, but this time i’ll be taking something (legal) to knock me out.

16.Apr.08 Holiday, Home, Random Comments (0) 

It Sucks!

I was vacuuming the house on Saturday night, copping a nose full of dust laden air in the process. In turn I went through a bunch of tissues, and not for any enjoyable reason.

I decided i’d had enough. I did some research on the ‘net, and decided I liked the look of the Dyson vacuum cleaners.

Sunday morning I got up (late), and headed out to my local The Good Guys store.


The Dyson DC-19 Turbine

The DC19 had a hefty ticket price of $799 – and that was on special. The sales girl ran through her well-versed marketing spiel, so I waited until she was done. Then I bluffed my way through that I could get it for $200 less ‘down the road’, and if they could match it, i’d buy it there and then. So she ran away to ask her supervisor, and came back with a surprised look on her face – he said they would match it.

All paid for, I headed toward the door. On my way out I noticed some woman buying one as well – for the list price of $799. I chuckled.

Once I got it home and unwrapped, I connected it all together. Then I vacuumed.

It’s rather scary to see how much i’d been missing with my old vacuum cleaner, but there it was. A full barrell.

My new Dyson sucks, but in a good way. Neh? :)

31.Mar.08 Home Comments (0) 

Malay Slackers?

Recently Malaysia had its’ elections, and in the lead-up there was lots of shit flinging. Bribery, incompetence, stupidity, laziness. Probably all true to a certain extent – especially the laziness.

Having been to Malaysia recently, I personally witnessed many slack Malays. From customs guards sleeping instead of checking your bags to counter operators who can’t add numbers, there are a lot of slackers around.

To my surprise on Friday, I encountered another Malay Slacker. Actually I should correct myself, this one is a SLACR Malay.

It’s my new Intel Core2 Quad Core 6600 CPU. SLACR is the S-Spec. I can’t actually find what the abbreviation stands for, so maybe it’s exactly what it means? :P

I just hope it works better than those other Malays.

And hopefully the courier delivers the motherboard tomorrow, which he was supposed to do last THURSDAY, but didn’t. More damn SLACRs.

Edit: Stupid bitch sent it by 2 Day Economy instead of overnight. Not happy.

24.Mar.08 Fun, Home Comments (0) 

Green Thumb, Hot Bum

The best part about growing things in the garden is when they bear fruit.

In this case, hot red chillis. Totally organic, though something’s starting to munch on the leaves, but I dunno what to spray it with anyway. I just wish the bastards would try and eat one of the chillis, instead of the leaves. That’d fix ‘em.

21.Mar.08 Home Comments (2) 

Hero or Zero?

It’s official: I’m uncoordinated. I suck at Guitar Hero. My fingers just don’t react when I want them to.

I prefer mouse click carnage anyway, so no biggie. (1st Person Shooters)

20.Mar.08 Fun, Home Comment (1) 

Shenanigans!


Mac Mini.


Mc Mini. (Crispy Chicken Fillet Burger Deluxe)

I saw Maccas had some new burgers on offer, and was getting sick of having Subway for lunch the other day.. so I tried one. I got back to my desk, took it out of the bag, and fuck! it’s SMALL. (Not much bigger than that 50c coin!) It’s barely bigger than a damn cheeseburger – and I thought KFC’s chicken burgers were getting small!!

Meanwhile, guess what!? Melbourne Council has done what every good Council with excess cash has done lately, they bought a Ferris Wheel. Big whoop. This one isn’t very big, but there’s a way bigger one still being built near Docklands. Even bigger whoop.

And that milk crate guy climbing up the wall is part of a travelling art festival.. he keeps popping up in random places around the city.

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02.Dec.07 Food, Home, Random Comment (1) 

Anniversary

Happy 2 year anniversary, Louis.

How time seems to have flown, eh?
Here’s hoping the next 2 years fly past just as easily!

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15.Nov.07 Fun, Home Comments (4) 

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