Oops
Reason #37, “Why not to run your Manhunt profile text through Google Translate in the hope of attracting Gaijin…”
Here’s a profile I found on Manhunt. Some poor Japanese guy has obviously run his profile text through Google Translate or Babelfish, and it’s massacred it. Seriously.
looking for fuck friend
１７０．７０，３９太め体系の障害者です。
車椅子乗ってます。
外国人のタチの人にアナル掘られてみたいです。
もちろん日本人の方でもいいです、掘って下さい！。
I’m Japanese I live in Saitama.
A profile 170 70 Is it a rather fat system 39 years old?I’m a person with disabilities of spinal cord damage A life of a wheelchair.
A foreigner is preferred.
Anal sex is favorite Japanese.
fuck Please fuck Please fuck Would like to grasp.
Violate my anus, and, please.
Attack my anus in your big cook, and, please.
A condom is freedom If you wish, the sex of the Bear back is also possible.
Please, please stir an intense receipt and payment during an anus in big cook in big cook, thank you.
39 | 太め系 | おひつじ座 / Ａ型 | ネコ
I tried to feel sorry for him, but I keep cracking up laughing..
19.Feb.09 
Fun, Strange 
Comments (0)
Fish found in boy’s penis?
September 16, 2008
News.com.au
A 2cm long fish apparently found it’s way into the penis of a 14-year-old boy from India in a bizarre medical case.
The patient was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period. According to the boy, the fish slipped into his penis while he was cleaning his aquarium at home.
Professor Vezhaventhan and Professor Jeyaraman, who treated the boy and later wrote a paper on the case, explained: “While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine. When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms.”
After detecting the fish in the boy’s bladder, Vezhaventhan and Jeyaraman used a technique known as cystourethroscopy to insert a special set of forceps down the patient’s penis. Unfortunately, the fish was just too slippery to grip, so they resorted to using a rigid ureteroscope with a tool attached that is normally used for removing bladder stones.
The fish the urologists removed, which Practical Fishkeeping believes to be a small member of the Betta genus, measured 2cm long and 1.5cm wide.
He was later admitted into counseling to help him overcome any trauma.
Seriously, i’m calling bullshit on this one.
“…the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra…”
Especially the bit about how a 1.5cm wide and 2cm long fish can somehow just ’slip’ into the eye of your dick, now cmon… the most obvious things I find wrong here are:
1) His dick must be ERECT, for the fish to ’slip’ down into his urethra. Fish don’t fall UP.
2) Since when does the eye of your dick resemble a vagina? I mean, this fish isn’t one of those microsopic parasite things, it’s like a small goldfish! I want to know what else he’s been shoving down his dick previously to make it that wide..
3) Unfortunately, the fish was just too slippery to grip.. Lubrication from cum perhaps? Why would you wait 24 hours before going to the doctor if it was accidental, as opposed to getting your jollies off from a wriggling fishy down your thingy?
I think he should stick to shoving gerbils up his other orifice.
Tags: bullshit
17.Sep.08 Strange, What-The-Fuck Comments (0)
Uncertainty
Have you ever woken up one day and wondered how you ended up where you are? No, i’m not talking about a night on the piss and waking up on a park bench, i’m talking about relationships.
You open your eyes and look over at the person beside you, and feel doubt. Doubt you’ve never felt before, or maybe just the doubt that has been simmering under the surface for too long, but you refused to acknowledge.
Then comes the hardest part – doing something about it. Waiting for the right moment to communicate those feelings and doubts, where you foolishly hope the words will hurt just a little bit less.
Then comes the guilt, the tears, the uncertainty. More doubting. Doubting the doubt you had in the first place. Doubting yourself. Doubting everything.
Then silence. Awkward silence. Second guessing movements, gestures, things you used to do subconsiously. More uncertainty. Limbo.
Chatter. Just to break the silence. Anything will do, but what?
Thoughts. So many thoughts. And for each thought, so many more questions. And for each question, so many more answers. How to find the right answer? I don’t know. Time? Maybe.
If there is such a thing as Fate where our destiny is already marked, ‘they’ could at least give us some fucking signs. Until then, i’ll just have to stumble my way along as best I can…
17.Jul.08 Gloom, Strange Comments (3)
Lahhhh.
I’m sooo bored, I think my brain has already packed its’ bags and gone on holiday without me.
Prepare for randomness.
It’s weird how Google works sometimes. Below are the top 20 keywords people have typed in, and somehow found my blog. Funny, kinda sorta.
- maxius virtualrice – Well, you found me. If you remembered that much, you may as well just type the whole address directly.
- slacr malay – Not to be confused with Malay Slackers, this one’s a Quad Core CPU that works harder than they ever would.
- colin and kero – Oh. My. God., like, they are soooo over. So get over it. And get a life. Search for “Tammy NYP’s Boyfriend with the big dick”, instead.
- apple sponge dessert – This reminds me, I should bake that again. It was yummy.
- maxius – Found me, again.
- paypal sucks – It really does! it sucks even more than my Dyson Vacuum. But in a bad way.
- apple sponge – Yes, it was yummy. I said that already.
- bono sunglasses – Did you see the recent Southpark episode where they made fun of Bono? World’s biggest shit, and all that? Heh heh heh.. Funny.
- country road tote bag – If you’re looking where to buy them, ahem, COUNTRY ROAD! duh.
- countryroad tote bags – Same shit, different day.
- gambag – I’m not repeating myself.
- igallop – This would have to be the gayest exercise machine ever. The only thing gayer is when I saw a replica contraption that someone had mounted a dildo on the seat.
- plublogs – The Topblogs are more interesting than the photoblogs, but a lot of poofs are fickle. Straight to the porn they go…
- recipe for apple sponge – Damnit, i’m hungry now.
- things to do when your bored – Yes, You could do write-ups like this. But next time use “you’re”. Grammar, ahem.
- “apple sponge” – Oh bugger off.
- “1 utama” topman sales assistant – Hmm, I can’t consciously remember any cute sales assistants when I was there. Maybe it was his day off? Or if you’re looking for a job there, make sure you’re cute. (You’ll sell more!)
- “country road tote” – See: Gambag.
- “fucking indians” outsourcing – Gee, don’t even get me started on this one. I’m not in the mood to write a thesis. All i’ll say right now is NOT HAPPY JAN!
- “fx creations” – Good manbags. Louis likes his.
- “the undershop” singapore – I totally forgot that they have one in Singapore. Wait, do they? Might give me something to do on this next holiday.
- aeroline chicken recipes – I doubt you’d want to replicate any recipes of anything Aeroline serve up.
- aeroline food – If you want to call it ‘food’, then… ohkay then. I call it SHIT. Coz anything that shoots through that quick must be pretty close to it.
I’m still bored. Entertain me!
P.S. I’m quite aware there’s 23. Just testing ‘ya.
22.Apr.08 Random, Strange Comments (0)
Funky Chicken
There’s a website called Subservient Chicken, and it’s pretty weird.
You can tell a chicken to do stuff. But what’s even weirder, is that it’s done by Burger King. Heh.
27.Nov.07 Random, Strange Comments (0)
Mangled Manglish
I’ve been making a few friends in various places so we can say hi when we drop past next time we visit Malaysia, and sometimes conversation is more successful than others.
Whilst a second language is never easy to learn, it’s always appreciated when someone makes a decent effort in conversing in another person’s language.
This is not a decent effort.
Sorry, Alex the 29 yr old hairdresser from Penang, if you’re reading this, but you really need to stop the Manglish. And the (hideous animated) avatars. Especially that last one.
19.Nov.07 Random, Strange Comments (4)
Things to do when you’re bored…
Someone’s obviously BORED, there’s no other reasonable explanation.
Tags: Malaysia, mecca, muslims
12.Nov.07 What-The-Fuck Comments (0)
Stupidity knows no bounds…
I just read this on news.com.au…
Boy dies in parents’ bid for smarter son
AN Indian couple has been charged with the murder of one of their sons after they tried to transfuse his blood into his elder brother to make him smarter.
The Indian Express newspaper said the couple were both doctors and the mother had a dream in which a guru advised blood transfusion to make their elder son do better at his studies.
Police said the couple initially claimed the 11-year-old boy was killed in an attack on the family, but later the father confessed.
“If there were any outside attackers they would not have attacked using surgical instruments,” police official Hanif Quereshi was quoted as saying by the daily.
The father has been remanded in police custody and the mother is receiving psychiatric treatment after attempting suicide.
Their elder son is fighting for life in a hospital in the western town of Rohtak.
“..the couple were both doctors..” – Makes you wonder where they got their qualifications, doesn’t it? Maybe it was off the back of a weeties packet?
I think it’s time for natural selection to kick in right about now..
12.Oct.07 What-The-Fuck Comments (0)
Malaysias’ Best Boys (aka Why would you bother visiting?)
In your internet travels, you may have stumbled upon Axcest. It’s like a ‘home brand’ version of the far more professional (and popular) personals site – Fridae. Anyway, Axcest is currently running the yearly Axcest Icon competition, which supposedly brings out the cutest boys Malaysia has to offer. Here’s their top (or bottom) 9:
If you’d never been to Malaysia, and hadn’t done any proper research (ie porn surfing), you may assume that this actually *is* some of the best talent this country has on offer.
WRONG.
There are plenty of cute Malaysians, but I would not rate any of these guys among them. If you took this competition at face value, you’d reschedule your next flight to stopover somewhere else instead.
Along with the half-assed website, I think their talent scouts were pretty half-assed too. If you want to have a proper talent quest / beauty queen competition, you need actual talent.
Even browsing their own website, you find better looking guys. Seriously.
Tags: boys, Malayisa, Strange, ugly
24.Sep.07 Strange Comments (2)
Confused
As we waited at the lights in Richmond today, I saw this sign on the side of a pub. I thought it was a normal pub, but i’m not quite sure…
12.Aug.07 Strange Comments (2)
