Stupid machines, stupid people.

Damn, i’m generous today.

Short version:

• I gave 50 cents to someone who didn’t have enough money for a ticket
• I carried some old lady’s trolley up the stairs for her at the train station

Long version:

I got to the station this morning, ran up the ramp… just to watch the train depart while the stupid machine beeped and buzzed validating my ticket.

I sat down on the seat, to wait for the next train to come.. in 10 minutes (if it’s on time, ha!).

A few minutes later, an o/s asian student (with slightly broken english) came upto me, asking if I had change for a $20 note. Evidently the stupid ticket machines don’t even give change for a $20! (I’ve never noticed as I always pay by Amex at the service counter in the city.. Mmm.. Amex points are good!)

I looked in my wallet – I only had another $20 note.

On the left: Stupid ticket machine that doesn’t give change for a $20
On the right: Stupid ticket machine that doesn’t even take notes

I advised him that as the last train had just left, he had about 10 minutes to go down the ramp, across the road, and get change from the milk bar. He headed off.

I then noticed out of the corner of my eye that he was still hovering around the ticket machine, asking various people for change. 5 minutes later, he came back, asking if I had 50 cents so he could get a ticket – he must have scammed almost enough money for a 2 Hour off various people. He babbled something about the train being here any minute. I gave him the 50c, pointing out that if he had left when I told him to, he would have had plenty of time to get back in time for the next train – which was still 5 minutes* away.

Away he went, then soon after, he was back. He asked me if I always take this train. (Stalker?) For the sake of quick closure, I replied that I do, every day – so I know exactly when it arrives. I put my fantastic new headphones back in my ears – they block out all sound, you wouldn’t even know if a truck was about to mow you down – and continued to wait. 7 minutes later, the train arrived on time*. (On time means upto 6 minutes late – go figure!)

On a sidenote, i’ve heard some Japanese train drivers contemplate Seppuku even if they’re a minute late. If ours did that, we’d have none left by lunchtime.

An uneventful train journey later, I arrived at Parliament station. Powerstep up the escalator, then the second one. Out of the barrier, then head toward the last stairs.

I noticed an old lady with her trolley – i’ve helped her a couple of times before – waiting at the foot of the stairs. I removed one earphone and offered to carry the trolley up the stairs for her, and she accepted. About 30 thank-you’s and 30 steps later, we were both at the top. More thank-you’s, and then a God bless and have a nice life (backhanded comment!?) later, I continued into work.

I miss the train system in Singapore.

In other news, Louis’ exam is tomorrow, so he’s busy doing last minute revision today. Then after that’s all over, he’ll be glued to the TV playing games on the Playstation2 he just bought. Woo.

19.Jun.07 Random, Work Comments (5) 

I tort it was bigger..

I dropped by Australia On Collins food court for lunch, and noticed a new place – Torts Famous.

I ordered myself a Premium Chicken Tort ($7.25), which consisted of Marinated Chicken, spicy (err no, not really!) peanut sauce, sundried tomato, fresh coriander, lettuce, carrot, tomato, cabbage and cucumber/yoghurt sauce.

Sounded like it’d be a decent lunch.

I watched it being cooked which didn’t take long, and then I was handed a wrapped package about the size, and thickness, of a piece of toast.

It didn’t taste too bad, but hello… TINY!?

Needless to say, I won’t be going back.

I’m still hungry… wonder what else I could get…

13.Jun.07 Food, Work Comments (3) 

PLSQL?

What is PLSQL? Evidently it’s a programming language.
I thought PL/SQL was just the program we used to connect to our Oracle server.

So if you want this modification done by Tuesday, do it yourself. I obviously don’t have a fucking clue HOW TO PROGRAM IN IT.

For fuck’s sake.

16.Mar.07 Random, Web / Programming, Work Comments (2) 

Training Time

After 6 1/2 years, it’s finally happened.

Work sent me on some training.

Every year, they’ve always promised, but it never happened, until now. They finally delivered – 5 days of training. And it is kinda fun. I hate .NET a little bit less now. Got 4 days of training left.

10 Days to go..

19.Feb.07 Web / Programming, Work Comments (0) 

Hands off my banana!

My employer is generous enough to supply each of our floors with a fruit box, twice a week.

At the moment, the variety consists of Peaches, Nectarines, Oranges, Apples and Bananas.

I was making my morning wakeup coffee at the time the courier guy delivered the fruit box to our lunchroom. Almost immediately, the minions appeared from nowhere and proceeded to load themselves up with the fruit and disappear.

I know very few people on my floor now, management moved some of the departments to over floors to make way for a recent takeover, and now all those people fill the floor.

Before the fruit box was totally emptied, I reached over and grabbed a banana – the last one – and then some fat woman complained “Ohhhh, is that the last banana? Hmm.. I always have a banana”… and stood there, as if she expected me to hand it over.

I smiled, and replied very politely, “Well, I guess you’ll just have to have something else today then.” .. And I left.

Since when do fat waddling penguins eat bananas, anyway?

43 Days to go..

17.Jan.07 Bitching, Food, Work Comments (8) 

From Clay Pot to Porcelain Pot

Today, my friend Kenny was down in Melb for work again, so we arranged to meet for lunch. I thought we’d go check out the new “Claypot King” place in Swanston St that I noticed when Louis and I were shopping the other day.

It was crap. Don’t. bother. going.

Apart from there being more staff than customers (although very few of them seemed to be doing any work), their food was absolutely crap.

Kenny had a Tofu and 3-Layer Pork claypot, and he reported it was rather tasteless and dry.

I thought i’d lay off the rice for awhile, so I ordered a Chicken and Mushroom noodle sizzle platter.

When it arrived, it wasn’t sizzling. The plate didn’t even need the wooden thing it was so not-hot. Also, since when do you use fucking boiled hokkien noodles in this kind of dish? What kind of brainless twat cook do they employ!? Singapore Noodles.. like, hello!

So I had hokkien noodles, combined with two halved mushrooms, 7 bits of chicken, 2 bok-choy leaves and way too much watery juice (not sauce/gravy). Suffice to say, it was pretty tasteless, though half an hour later I was having deja-vu of my lunches back in KL, where i’d finish lunch, grab a packet of tissues, and errm.. go for a wander.

On a sidetrack, I might jot down the highlights of my next asia trip (planned for midyear) into some kind of journal.
I’ll call it “From Clay Pot to Porcelain Pot – A white boy’s journey of degustation around Malaysia and Thailand“. It’s got a nice ring to it.. no pun intended.

04.Jan.07 Bitching, Food, Work Comments (2) 

‘Tis the season to be tacky..

Fa lalalala… lala la Blahhhhhh.

Yes, it’s that time of year again where certain departments obviously have nothing more important to do than trash adorn the office with trashy xmas decorations.

And on another note, (a rather pungent one, at that) I just returned from the loos, and the really camp guy was exiting as I was heading in. I turned around and left almost immediately. It smelt like someone had slaughtered a cow. I naturally assume it was him.

07.Dec.06 Bitching, Work Comments (3) 

How-Doodle-you-do, Mr Willie

Whenever I have a meeting with colleagues in other business units, I make sure i’m always running a minute or so late. That way, I can start with a brief hello, and get straight into it.

Normally, you’d do the whole greeting thing and shake hands etc etc. But I don’t.

Why?

When i’m washing my hands, I have lost count of the amount of times people walk straight past me and out the door of the washroom, without stopping to wash their hands.

The old rule of ‘Don’t touch that, you don’t know where it’s been!’ that your mother used to tell you applies well here.

30.Oct.06 Strange, Work Comments (3) 

Igloo

Hope you all had a good weekend.

How’s mine? Oh, Ssssuper, thanksss for assssking.

I caught a cold – sore throat, coughing up lots of mucus, the usual deal – and I spent the whole weekend either in bed, (and not for any fun reason) or with two jumpers on and the heater cranked up. (Louis was sitting beside me with a t-shirt on).

I’m almost better now, but i’m sitting here at work, typing this, (and doing my work) with a jacket on, done right up to the neck.

Yeeees, the fucking air conditioning. That’s all I can put it down to. Our team recently got relocated to the arse-end of the building, (with a crappy view) and the aircon vents blow cold air onto me. I’m currently hunting for some masking tape to block the vents, but our stationery cabinet is seriously lacking.

In other news, I posted a door-mat as a housewarming present to my friend in Sg – Mat: $9.00, Postage: $27.90. I had to fill in one of those customs declarations saying it wasn’t a bomb or drugs, though I felt like ticking the ‘Yes’ box and writing underneath ‘To offset postage costs’.

Mum’s birthday was also on the weekend. Or, more correctly, it was on Thursday – dad reminded me.. on friday. In my defence, my sister didn’t remember either. And mum didn’t say anything on tuesday when I said i’d see her on saturday for her birthday.

Louis and I took up the last slab of cake from his birthday that i’d frozen, as in my poorly condition I had no motivation to bake anything myself.

I also presented her with the iPod (clone) I bought – the hornily phenomenon one with the dodgy mangled english manual (I blogged about that a couple of weeks ago). Now comes the pain of teaching her to use it.

02.Oct.06 Bitching, Work Comments (5) 

Ladies?

‘WE’ are Ladies.
“Oh yes Emily, we are certainly two of those.”

If all it takes for a guy to swap genders is to wear a frilly frock, then i’d definitely say I saw two ballsy blokes on the train this morning.

There’s these two lesbians that get on at the same station as me, and I rather hesitate to call them Ladies.

One looks half the age of the other, but i’m not even going to touch on that. Sugar Mommy.

Besides the blue denim jeans, Blundstone boots and the beanies, there were the football scarves and white Annie-Lennox inspired hairdo’s. With added pink bits.

Normally, Big Momma is dressed more corporately carrying a manbag, but I guess today is either a casuals day, or a day off.

Personal Choice is a scary thing.. you only need to take a walk around our admin floor on a Casuals day to witness the fatties wearing tight tops and tracksuit pants. (Think: Michelin-Tyre-Man’s wife with a rubber band around her waist). Oh, summer’s gonna be worse.

22.Sep.06 Bitching, Work Comments (0)